Obsession

...So, I mentioned that I have Multiple Sclerosis.  Yes, that's right.  Usually, when one admits to that disease, you think of someone that has troubles in the motor skills area...Or at the very least you don't put that disease and marathon running in the same sentences.

But, here I am, running with all my heart...for long distances....kinda slowly.

Running has developed into an obsession.  Sometimes, I wonder why I put so much importance on an activity that takes so much of my time.  I think it probably comes from the circumstances surrounding my diagnosis.  I learned I had M.S. just after running the Lake Tahoe Marathon in 2005...poorly.  Before then, I was content to jog a little, quit, and then pick up again. Usually I'd start again after a lay off long enough to lose my fitness, and have to build fitness all over.

I learned that I had M.S. January 10, 2006.  It was a Tuesday.  I remember sobbing harder than I have ever sobbed before.  I had no idea what Multiple Sclerosis even was.  I pictured myself dying, my kids without their mother, my husband without a wife.  Truly.  I had no idea what the disease entailed, the prognosis, nothing.  That night, running was the least thing on my mind.  I had recently started a few miles on the treadmill...the first miles since my symptoms had faded, and the first since the marathon that September.

It's funny how when you are sure you are going to lose something, that thing becomes all important.  I'm very protective of my obsession.  I don't take my running for granted, and I cherish every time I'm able to get out the door.  Yes, even when I'm bonking...I am so very lucky.